NOT ANOTHER JOKE!

One of the many things I came to realize in raising two children and interacting with many children including my own 6 grandchildren is just how much children love telling jokes. What is even better than children having to tell jokes is children being told jokes by their parents. For some parents the telling of jokes may not mean much, however, in the life of many children the light hearted funny even silly jokes brings smiles and laughter into their world. For this reason it is worth investing a little time in learning a few simple one liner jokes that you can tell your children. Children from the ages of 7 and up in particular will be most impressed that their parents can tell jokes and because the jokes are simple you will find that the children will learn them quickly and then tell the jokes to their friends. Children who know corny funny jokes are always popular with other children. I have listed several jokes that have entertained the children I have come across. Some you may well know. Tell some of these to the children in your life and enjoy some magical moments as you see their little faces beam with smiles and laughter. What vegetable plays snooker? A cue-cumber What makes a tree noisy? Its bark.  Who invented fire? Some bright spark. Why couldn’t the sailors play card? Because the captain was standing on the deck. What do ants take when they are sick? Antibiotics What pet makes the loudest noise A trum-pet. What tune do you sing in a car? A car-toon Why can’t a car play football? Because it’s got one boot. Why did the bus stop? Because it saw the zebra crossing What travels around the world but stays in one corner? A postage stamp. What travels faster: heat or cold? Heat because it’s easy to catch a cold. What fish do dogs chase? Catfish What doesn’t ask questions but must always be answered A telephone. What do you call a letter when it’s dropped down the chimney? Blackmail. What runs and whistles but can’t talk? A railway train. What driver can’t drive? A screwdriver. What nail can’t you hit with a hammer? Your fingernail If a crocodile makes shoes what does a banana make? Slippers What gets bigger the more you take away? A hole. What whistles when it’s hot? A kettle. Where did Dracula keep his money? In the blood bank Why does Dracula live in a coffin? Because the rent is low. What do vampires cross the sea in? Blood vessels. What do you call a friendly and handsome monster? A failure. Why is Dracula so unpopular? Because he’s a pain in the neck. Why did the landlord of a wine bar refuse to serve gin to a ghost? Because he didn’t have a licence to serve spirits. What do ghosts like to play at parties? Haunt and seek Why did the baby monster push his father in the freezer? Because he wanted frozen pop. What bow can’t you tie? A rainbow What is the smallest ant in the world? An infant. What runs around a garden without moving? A fence. What is the longest word in the dictionary? Elastic because it stretches. Why was the Boy Scout dizzy? Because he did too many good turns. What did one toe say to the other toe? Don’t look now but there’s a big heel following us. What is it that even the most careful person overlooks? His nose. When a lemon calls for assistance, what does it want? Lemonade. What is a crocodile’s favourite game? Snap. Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice. How do you cut through the waves? With a sea-saw. Do robots have brothers? No only transistors. How many one-liners do you know, why not write in and share with us so that others can enjoy?