Metaphor Magic

Even after several decades, some of the most memorable times I treasure reflecting back to my childhood, are the times my mother would sit with us and tell us stories. My mother having migrated from the tiny Island of Malta would tell us stories about the far away Island. She would make comparisons between the tiny Island, her place of birth and her newly adopted Country Australia, which she had grown to love. We would sit for hours mesmerized listening to her fables. There were times when we would sit holding our breath waiting to listen to every word she uttered, as the stories would be full of adventure and mystique and then there were times when the stories were funny and even to the point of ridiculous and we would laugh hysterically. When I grew up, it became apparent to me that what mum was doing in telling us the stories, was that she was teaching us about values and morals. She taught us a lot, through stories, about life. She introduced us to a world that seemed at that time impossible to imagine, about how other people from other cultures lived. She would always emphasize that there was good and bad in the world and that if we focused on finding the good in people we would find it. Well, many decades have passed and as they say ‘ what goes round comes around’. It was my turn to teach my children, and I decided to adopt the same methodology my mother had used so successfully. I taught my children about values and morals through story telling. Time passes very quickly and another two generations later, I found myself needing to use this method again, only this time with my granddaughter. Last year my 8-year-old granddaughter was staying with me. Being a healthy, inquisitive child she decided to test my boundaries and I found it appropriate to tell her a story using a metaphor.. When a story is told as a metaphor, it has a special effect. Metaphors are the language of the sub conscious mind. Telling metaphors is a fun way of teaching children and adults alike, because it is a way that the lesson is taught through by- passing the critical factor. Let me give you an example: It was a very hot summer day and my granddaughter had come to stay with me. My granddaughter, putting it mildly, was in a very mischievous mood. She had decided to use her selective hearing and on this particular day she had a mind of her own. Regardless to what was said to her, she would do the opposite. In the evening, after a very tiring and trying day, she wanted me to tell her a story and I felt that this was an opportune time to tell her a story using a metaphor as I realized that as a metaphor she would not be defensive about her behaviour that day. First I asked her to reflect on what type of day we both had encountered. She smiled and said: ‘You know, Nan, today even though I tried to be good, something made me be naughty”. Well there was my opening; she had opened the door, so to speak. This is the metaphor I told her: “ There once was an old Cherokee Indian who called his grandchildren around him so as to tell them a story. They all came and sat around the fire place and then their grandfather began to tell them this story. ‘ There is a war going on inside me. A war between two (2) wolves. One wolf stands for honesty love, kindness, generosity, helpfulness, care and obedience and the other wolf stands for hate, cruelty, greed, uncaring, lying and disobedience. And the same war is going on inside everyone, including you.” He told them. The grandchildren sat in silence, wide eyed, glaring at their grandfather, when one of his grand daughters asked - “Grandfather which wolf will win?” The Grandfather smiled and said nothing for a moment and then he replied. “The Wolf you feed the most”. My granddaughter reached over and gave me the biggest hug and said:  “Nan, you know what? I’m going to feed the wolf that is kind and generous and obedient” This simple metaphor, taught the importance of values and it has had a profound effect on my granddaughter. At times when she is tempted to be over bearing, she stops, puts a huge smile on her face and says “ Oh I forgot, I have to feed the good wolf, don’t I?’ Parents have been telling stories to their children, since Adam was boy, perhaps not realizing just how powerful stories can be in teaching lessons. When one analysis the story they come to realize that there is a moral behind ever story, and they will find that there is always a lesson to be taught. Take the story of red riding hood. Doesn’t this story warn children about talking to strangers and about trust? What about the Ugly Duckling, again a story about self-confidence and self-esteem.? Stories about Cinderella and Snow White all have lessons to be learned. Never underestimate the power of story telling when teaching children. Children learn a lot more when it is fun and stories can be made to be a lot of fun. The advantage of using metaphors by way of telling stories to teach children lessons is that you by pass the critical factor, which results in the child putting all defences aside. On a conscious level the child disassociates from the story yet on a subconscious level the lesson is well learned. There are times when adults as well as children find it very difficult to come to terms with loss, whether it is the loss of a pet or the loss of a relative. During these difficult times metaphors can work wonderfully. A very useful book to have on hand is the book written by Pugsy Dyer Entitled ‘Good Grief ‘ What a wonderful Life.   This story, like Pugsy, is the greatest medicine for anyone experiencing grief from the loss of a pet or someone close to them. The story reflects the wonderful life experiences those people or pets brought to you. As you reflect upon the wonderful life you have loved ones shared with you may you be inspired by their memories rather than only grieving their loss. Changing your thoughts from grief to loving memories will assist you to begin living again with renewed vitality so you too will have a wonderful life. To order your copy ‘Click here’ Now Another invaluable book to own is ‘Enjoy the Ride’ Written by Dave Diggle. This book is a real gem. ‘Enjoy the Ride’ is a Collection of stories that engage and inspire readers, Designed to take children of all ages on an exciting Roller coaster ride of adventure! Each metaphor has been written to capture our Imaginations. Written with fun and humour, Children are infected by the honesty and compassion of the characters as they are encouraged to explore their own avenues with confidence and clarity and work towards finding their own solutions. Enjoy the Ride is a wonderful sourcebook for parents, teachers, trainers and those committed to guiding children to find their own answers along life’s roller coaster. To order your copy ‘Click here ‘ Now