The Only Child
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The parents of an only child often have a great deal of emotional expectations. With the devoted and exclusive attention of his or her parents, it is not surprising that the only child grows up with the feeling that he or she is special. The difficulty with all this attention, however, is that parents – especially mothers – of only children tend to overprotective and their children frequently find it difficult to ‘break free’ as they approach adulthood.
Are only children different?
Much of the research on only children has drawn negative conclusions: Only children are reported to be more self-cantered, attention-seeking, and dependent on others. With little experience of the rough and tumble of life with siblings they find it difficult to adjust to group activities,
Are they like first-born?
Intense parental involvement affects first born and the only child in similar ways. Both spend more time with adults and are therefore relatively mature for their ages. Both are often intellectually advanced, especially in verbal skills and both may be highly motivated and thus high achievers. Unlike first born however, the single child never has to move over to make space for another child. He or she has no experience of displacement and rivalry and as a consequence might be more aggressive and less anxious than the first born.
Having only one child
There are many reasons why people have only one child. A couple may decide that due to financial commitment having only one child allows the mother to develop her career return to work. Occasionally the health problems of one or both partners may result in only one viable pregnancy.
If you decide to have only one child it will benefit him or her if you are able to be aware of the following:
- Set limits with how much you give your child . This will discourage your child from becoming self indulgent and spoiled.
- Do not overburden your child with all your hopes, thereby inhibiting his or her independence.
- Do not invest your child with too many ‘special’ qualities or thing that he or she is a genius. Even many gifted children want to be regarded and treated as just a normal kid.
- Encourage sociability through an extended social network of family and friends.
- Ensure your child has friends of the same age so that he or she can learn social skills, including how to share and how to be considerate of others.




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