Sign-up and
Respect for Parents
Tell a Friend
First of all we need to define what the word respect means. The definition of the word respect in the dictionary is : ‘ to hold in esteem or honour’ ‘ to show esteem, regard of consideration for’.
As a parent you have the power to nurture, guide, show and teach kindness, responsibility and gentleness to your children in what sometimes is a rude and violent world.
Parental role modelling helps teach children to be caring and kind. Your actions really do speak louder than your words. Social skills are important in all aspects of your child’s life, from their home environment, their playground and the classroom. These social skills if taught properly will serve your child throughout their entire life. Social skills help others feel comfortable with them and help them make friends. Relationship-building skills help them resolve conflicts in a healthy way.
Your child is never too young or too old to be taught respect. Obviously the younger the child is the easier it will be. To teach your child respect you can begin by teaching your children manners, this will give them ‘lifelong survival skills’.
Between the ages of 2 and 5 children are most receptive to learning the rules of polite conduct. When children are very young they want to please, grab the opportunity to teach appropriate behaviour.
When children are taught to be polite, kind and honest, they develop character and respect and the bonus is that you as a parent will feel very proud and very good. To teach a child to be polite, kind and honest you must demonstrate this type of behaviour with your child. In being polite, kind and honest with your child you then in turn make them feel good.
Some parents confuse providing the child with basic needs is what is required of a parent and in doing that they are good parents. This is correct, good parents do provide the basic needs of the child however parents can become better parents with better results if they are:
- Positive – Don’t embarrass, insult or make fun of their child. Compliment them
- Trusting – Let the child make choices and take responsibility according to their age.
- Be Fair – Listen to their child’s side of the story, before reaching a conclusion
- Be polite – Use ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ . Knock before entering the child’s room
- Be reliable – Keep promises. Show the child that you mean what you say.
- Be a good listener – Give your child your full undivided attention.
Children learn by copying behaviour and language pattern. They listen to everything you say and watch everything you do, even when you think they are not. Be on guard and make sure that you are modelling respectful behaviour. Sometimes the hardest part of being a parent is being mindful of your own behaviour and language. As adults we do and say things to express our frustration and emotions. Being adults we can say and do things that we do not mean. However children are not mature enough to understand this and they mimic your behaviour and words because they think that it is the right thing to do. After all mummy and daddy say or do this so it must be O.K.
Some of the things you need to be mindful of are:
Obey laws – follow rules, It is not much good if you want your child to obey your rules if you don’t obey rules. Unfortunately some children learn at an early age that it is O.K. to speed when driving, as long as there are no police around who can fine you. It is O.K. to park in no parking signs as long as there are no officers who can fine you and it is O.K. to drink and drive as long as you don’t get caught. The message the child receives is it’s O.K. to disobey the rules as long as you don’t get caught.
Be caring – show concern and kindness for people, animals and the environment.
Have rules - All homes have or should have rules. One way of helping children to keep the rules is to have then set the rules with you. For example you might ask your child:
“What time between 4 and 6 is a good time for you to do your homework?” When the child tells you the preferred time then you can say “ O.K. then, the rule is no TV between that time - agreed?”
In getting your child to agree with you in setting rules which relate to homework, TV time, bedtime, household chores and even punishment for disobedience you will have a much better chance of the child following the rules. Why? Because they helped put them in place, they own them.
Age affects children’s respect. Children and adults deserve respect at every age.
Babies are too young to show respect but when you meet their needs, they learn to trust you. This helps as they get older because respect for authority is based on respect.
Toddlers can be taught to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ and taught to look after the toys.
Preschoolers can be taught rules and consequences.
Primary Schoolers identify with adults who make fair rules. This is the age where letting them have a say in rules they are expected to keep helps them keep the rules.
High Schoolers, (by this time if their parents have modelled respect) will understand the importance of respect. Parents can continue to help their high schoolers to develop respect by allowing them to show independence, such as clothing or hairstyles, but ensuring there are guidelines. Children who are given the freedom, even if somewhat guided, to explore and express their individuality will certain respect you for allowing them to discover their uniqueness.
Regardless of age, colour or creed one golden rule with regards to respect is: If you want respect you must give respect. How you treat your child is what you teach your child!