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Sometimes children in wanting to make friends and to fit into a group find themselves victims of peer pressure.   A child may feel intimidated by other children in the group and when asked to engaging in activities that are not conforming he/she may find it difficult to say “no”.

He/she fears that saying “no” to their friends will lead to ridicule and rejection.

When a child finds themselves in this situation there is a real danger that the child will do something, that makes him/her feel uncomfortable or not safe, just because others are doing it

As a parent, you have little or no control of protecting your child from peer pressure abuse.  However, what you can do is make your child aware that he/she does have choice.  This is a time when good communication with your child is vital.  You need to explain to him/her that he/she needs to take charge of the situation when being pressured, he/she can take  charge by stopping and asking himself/herself some questions.  Questions being:

• Will I be safe?
• Do I feel good about this?
• Could this be trouble?
• How would my parents feel if I did this, will they be angry with me or disappointed in me?
• Will someone get hurt – their body or their feelings?

Tell them they need to ask another two questions before they make a decision:

• What good things could happen?
• What bad things could happen?

Explain to your child that a way to tell if something is not good and could lead to trouble their friends will say things like,…

• “Go on I dare you”
• “You’re chicken”
• “Everyone does it”
• “No one will know”
• “Who is going to find out?”

All these comments are comments used to pressure children into doing the wrong thing.
Children who are subject to peer pressure suffer a lot of stress because they are being badgered into doing something that feels very uncomfortable for them.   They become scared, which results in their heart beating faster, they get shaky and they feel sick in the tummy. Even feeling all of this the child is so scared of the reaction of the group should he/she say ‘no’ that they say ‘yes’ and before they know what has happened they have been party to wrong doing.

It is important that you understand that it is very difficult for your child to say “no” and that it takes a lot of courage to stand up to a group,  so be supportive to your child, show some empathy and explain to him/her that you understand.   Make sure that your child realizes that by saying ‘yes’ to doing things that are not safe and that break rules and regulations he/she will suffer severe consequences.

Encourage your child to leave such groups and tell them that there are other children and groups that are responsible and would make better friends.