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Prior to attending preschool most children have been sheltered in the comfort of home with mum attending to their needs. They have limited contact with other children, this is especially so if they are the first child or the only child.   As children reach preschool age they are likely to feel a little anxious at the thought of leaving this safe haven. 

The first day of preschool can be traumatizing as well as exciting and it is the wise parent who has taken time to prepare the child for the new world that they will be introduced to.  Even the child who has been keenly looking forward to going to preschool may feel a little insecure and show emotion as they wait, in the playground, area to be introduced to their new carer, the teacher.

This can be very upsetting for the parents however parents need to understand that anxieties children display when first being separated from their parents are considered a normal part of a child’s development and you don’t need to be concerned

Parents also struggle with mixed emotions on the first day their child attends preschool. On one hand parents are proud that their little one Is starting preschool, they feel a sense of relief in believing that now they will have more time to do all the things that need to be done.  On the other hand parents experience the strange paradox of looking back to when their baby was born and now seeing their little one starting preschool they come to the realization that nothing will be the same from this day on.

Separation anxiety disorder

If over a period of weeks your child continues to seem particularly and regularly distressed about going to preschool and being separated from you it’s possible that they may have separation anxiety disorder.

Characteristics of a child who may have separation anxiety disorder are:

• Anxious when separated from you               
• Worries that something may happen to you
• Refuses to go to preschool
• Won’t sleep at other people’s houses without you
• Complains of being sick when separated.

Thre are many things that you can do if your child exhibits the above characteristics. Some of which are:

• Don’t sneak out when the child is preoccupied.  This can only make things worse when the child realizes that you are not there.  It is better to settle the child and tell them that you are leaving and reassure them that you will be back
• When saying good bye do it quickly and don’t drag it out.
• In the early stages of attending preschool or leaving your child with a babysitter spend time settling the child down before you leave. 
• It is helpful for the child to see that you are friendly and interacting with the teacher or carer as the child will feel less distressed if he/she sees that you are leaving him/her in a safe place with a person known to you.
• To help your child feel safe allow him/her to take something that he/she loves like a favourite toy, a pillow or blanket. 
• Don’t show any signs of distress or upset on your face when you say good bye to your child keep a relaxed and happy expression on your face.
• Make sure you inform the teacher or career about your child’s anxiety. This way they will have more empathy and give more support.
• Be mindful not to label or criticize your child about the separation anxiety disorder.  Refrain from making comments such as “don’t be such a baby’.
• Look for some books that tell stories about young animals leaving the nest to explore their surroundings.  For example stories about little birds who grow feathers and wings and then leave the nest or about the caterpillar who struggles out of the cacoon and turns into a beautiful butterfly flying around exploring the beautiful gardens.