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Effect of stress on children
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pressure so it is important to combat it if it exists in your family.
While children may take after their parents in many ways, they are also
unique individuals, with their own ways of learning, striving and
coping, Children need to be able to pursue their own goals and dreams
and to make their own mistakes’ without shouldering the heavy burden of
parental expectations.
Whose success is it anyway?
You may know someone
who tries to live their youth again through the eyes of their children
or perhaps you yourself have in a small way been guilty of it. This is
an easy trap to fall into because as adults we now identify what we did
right and what we did wrong and if we had our chance again we would do it differently. Then
there are parents who put pressure on their children to succeed because
they need to compensate for their own hidden feelings of failure.
Academic success is frequently the most popular arena for pressure,
since so many people equate education with success in life.
Alternatively, if parents themselves are successful, just as much
pressure may be placed on the child to live up to their standards and
not fall behind or let the family down.
Such pressures are a tremendous weight for the child or adolescent. Children may sacrifice their own needs in an attempt
to live up to their parents expectations. Sometimes so great is the
anxiety about failing that, should they fail, children nay become
severely self-critical and have very poor self esteem. In such
pressurized families many aspects of life are seen in terms of winning
and losing and siblings will compete fiercely to prove that they are
‘the best’ in order to gain parental approval. The child who falls
behind or drops out is often the one who suffers from the stress caused
by such pressure.
This stress can
have long term negative results. As adults these stresses haunt them,
they usually will be less likely to try new things in fear that they
might not get it right or worse still they might fail. The can become
perfectionists and become critical and judgmental of others, this is
usually to camouflage their own short comings. At its worse they can
develop depression and have deep seeded limiting beliefs about
themselves believing that they are not good enough.
Tell a Friend
Do you Know the Effect Stress has on Children?
Sometimes parents put a lot of stress on their children without realizing it. In some families, great emphasis is place on achievement – academic-sporting-creative or otherwise. Children can suffer badly from strong par
ental
pressure so it is important to combat it if it exists in your family.
While children may take after their parents in many ways, they are also
unique individuals, with their own ways of learning, striving and
coping, Children need to be able to pursue their own goals and dreams
and to make their own mistakes’ without shouldering the heavy burden of
parental expectations.
Whose success is it anyway?
You may know someone
who tries to live their youth again through the eyes of their children
or perhaps you yourself have in a small way been guilty of it. This is
an easy trap to fall into because as adults we now identify what we did
right and what we did wrong and if we had our chance again we would do it differently. Then
there are parents who put pressure on their children to succeed because
they need to compensate for their own hidden feelings of failure.
Academic success is frequently the most popular arena for pressure,
since so many people equate education with success in life.
Alternatively, if parents themselves are successful, just as much
pressure may be placed on the child to live up to their standards and
not fall behind or let the family down.
Such pressures are a tremendous weight for the child or adolescent. Children may sacrifice their own needs in an attempt
to live up to their parents expectations. Sometimes so great is the
anxiety about failing that, should they fail, children nay become
severely self-critical and have very poor self esteem. In such
pressurized families many aspects of life are seen in terms of winning
and losing and siblings will compete fiercely to prove that they are
‘the best’ in order to gain parental approval. The child who falls
behind or drops out is often the one who suffers from the stress caused
by such pressure.
This stress can
have long term negative results. As adults these stresses haunt them,
they usually will be less likely to try new things in fear that they
might not get it right or worse still they might fail. The can become
perfectionists and become critical and judgmental of others, this is
usually to camouflage their own short comings. At its worse they can
develop depression and have deep seeded limiting beliefs about
themselves believing that they are not good enough.
It is import at that you encourage the individual A very important step is to accept and acknowledge that your child is separate from you, allowing them to be individuals is equally vital. Determine your attitude by answering these questions as honestly as you can:
- Why do you want your child to be a success? Is it to make you happy or is it for them?
- Do you unintentionally put pressure on your child to be perfect?
- If you do, do you feel that somehow will compensate for any feelings of inadequacy you might have?
- Is your child making up for what you have not been able to do, or feel that you have failed to do??
- Do you insist that your children follow in your footsteps or family traditions, rather than pursue their own goals?